I had the weirdest dream last night. It was probably partly due to last night’s thunderstorm and partly because I watched TV straight up until the time my eyes closed (I do not recommend this).
Anyway, I dreamed I was in a beach house with Husband, the kids, and the Obamas. We were just chilling, eating hors d’oevres from Wal-Mart. I think the president might have been wearing cut-off jeans. The conversation was light and merry. I remember thinking that I hoped Michelle would like me, and she did. She gave me a little conspiratorial side hug. Which was weird because I knew I hadn’t voted for her husband and wasn’t planning to this time, either. But maybe she didn’t know that, and I thought it would make our beach vacation better if that part never came up, so I didn’t mention it.
Barack liked our kids, and he smiled a lot. He was so handsome in my dream that all I could do was to try not to stare at his teeth. I didn’t want to be the weird one in the group. Suddenly, however, our little party took a turn for the worse. A large middle school girl rang our beach house doorbell. When I answered the door, she grabbed the Obamas’ chunky, gold chain necklace (which I happened to be holding) and took off running.
I shrieked and told Barack and Michelle what had happened, but they just stood there staring. I said, “I’m going after it, OK? I’ll get it back for you! Just you wait here!” I needn’t have added that last part as no one made a move.
I ran, sweatily, all over the neighborhood, which had suddenly turned from a beach community into a suburban cul-de-sac. I finally found the middle school thief and I demanded the bling-bling back. She gave in surprisingly easily, and I snatched the precious metal, clutching it to my chest. Wow, this thing must be solid gold. It’s awfully heavy…
I calmed my breathing, straightened my spine, and walked coolly back into our beach house. I presented the Obamas with their solid gold necklace. They thanked me, but–oddly–were not super excited. I wondered for a millisecond if I wasn’t supposed to have retrieved it after all. But I shook that thought off because that’s stupid.