Clean and Dirty


I wanted to do a little follow-up on the post I wrote a couple of days ago.

I have many “mom friends,” those who work full-time, part-time, are SAHM’s, homeschoolers, private and public-schoolers.  And I love all of them for different reasons.  I don’t pick my friends based on whether they do things like I do but whether I like them as actual people.  I’ve been choosing friends like this since middle school.

So far, so good.

But because we’re all different, what works for one of us (or what is a priority for her), doesn’t (or isn’t) for another.  And, sometimes, if I write about how I love a clean house, or how I’m trying to exercise for ten minutes a day, or how I make my kids do Latin, it makes some of my friends feel bad.

This, in turn, makes me feel bad.

Because, the thing is, we all have different gifts and abilities.  We have unique kids and husbands and personalities.  We have specific preferences and things we can’t stand.  We have weaknesses, blind spots, baggage we haven’t yet shed.

 None of this makes us “better” or “worse” than any other mother.

And when I say I keep a clean house, you can know one thing for sure: I have other things that are “messy” in my life–things like my ongoing battle with depression, the fact that I’m often not very patient, that lots of times I give my kids vitamins in lieu of green veggies.

So what?

At 37 years old, after 15 years of marriage and 13 years of parenting, I believe this now  more than I ever have:  we’ve all got our things.  And it will be OK.  At least I believe that on my good days.

So when I talk about my little routines, or how the kids and I read poetry together, or that everyone does their own laundry in this house, please understand:  there’s also lots of saying ‘I’m sorry I yelled,‘ lots of ‘I can’t believe we’re still dealing with this issue,’ and ‘Mom, where are my clean socks?

I like a clean house.  But what I want even more, what I’m asking God to work in me, is a clean heart. 

I can do the former (and I do), but only He can do the latter.

And that’s the most important thing of all, no matter what my toilets look like.

P.S.  I still think Challies missed the boat on clean houses.  🙂


8 thoughts on “Clean and Dirty

  1. Wedding says:


    I just want to say how much your posts make me smile! Your honesty, your sense of humor, and the fact that I feel like I can relate to your posts make this my favorite blog to receive throughout the week. Thank you for putting your words and your thoughts out here for us to read! There have been more times than I can count where your post has touched me because God intended it to be something I was worried about or upset about. Have a happy Easter and I look forward to your next post! Tara Fernandez


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you:) Us being unique and the necessity of being authentic has been a recurring theme is my life recently. The understanding that we have to step outside of the ‘measurement’ mentality that we have, and accept that we make contributions to one another.
    Have a great day:)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Exactly. And the ‘measurement mentality’ is something we each have to decide to put aside. We can’t look at someone else’s life, compare ourselves to that person, and then say, “She shouldn’t make me feel bad like that!” Instead, we should look inside and ask, “What’s going on in my heart that causes me to look at others and then judge myself.” For me, what God says about my life is most important, not what other women may say. Second only to that is, Is my husband happy with our home? If he is, then usually I’m happy, too. Thanks for reading.


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